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Shilpa’s victory could be the country’s
loss Shilpa Shetty has indeed brought out the weaknesses sharply. It is
creditable that she has won a lot of money and is due for an audience with
The Queen and Tony Blair on Commonwealth Day. Even if one discounts the
probability that the entire matter was a clever set up for ulterior
motives, her winning hardly does Indians proud. Her response to tormentors
was meek, showed weakness instead of conviction, and was devoid of any
intellectual punch—even ‘gandhigiri’ would not support such a crybaby.
Speaking to the Daily Mirror, she reportedly lamented, “ I’d no idea it
was so bad. They are so mean. Why didn’t someone stop them? It hurts me
deeply. Look at me...I am shaking”; “This is so pretty, so juvenile, so
nasty. There is hatred there and that hurts deeply...” and more such.
She had an opportunity for intelligent repartee against the barbs. If
she was asked, “to go back to the slums” Shilpa could have retorted that
she would then be Jade Goody’s neighbour! If she was called a “dog”,
Shilpa could have come up with something witty.
Crying and wringing hands, Shilpa let India down. We had great
statesmen who handled worse at the most trying of times. If not those, she
should have at least remembered how Ramnaresh Sarwan has become a popular
icon for his repartee in response to some obnoxious onfield sledging by
Glenn McGrath on his alleged laisions with Brian Lara. Sarwan shrugged and
brought a personal aspect of McGrath into the picture—so softly that the
bowler was flummoxed.
My experience is that, exceptions apart, Indian professionals are
accustomed to two types of behavioural transactions (on somewhat gross
interpretation of TA).
If dealing with a lower rank or darker person, or a citizen from a
smaller/less developed country, the typical Indian professional invariably
shifts into adult-child relationship mode—he drops all listening skills
and becomes an avatar of a Vedic teacher.
On the other hand, if he is dealing with somebody bigger, more powerful
or in a position to do a favour, he is happy to adopt some part of a
child-adult relationship—happy to be obedient, compliant, listening and
even subservient.
Maybe it is the caste system that makes us all happier with vertical
relationships rather than horizontal ones. Thus, the big gap is our
ability to deal with situations on an adult-adult basis, using civility,
social skills, logic, reasoning and intelligence in dealing with others,
and emerging on top.
The politician Benjamin Disraeli, who was known for his brilliant sense
of repartee, once said, “A majority is always better than the best
repartee.”
Instead, globalising Indians must remember, among other things, that
a good repartee is always better than suffering as a
minority! | |||||
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URL: http://www.financialexpress.com/fe_full_story.php?content_id=153512 Print
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